lessons learned

I learned a lot in high school. Shakespeare. Oh, man, I loved Shakespeare. I loved the lyric of it all, the way the words made perfect sense despite being backwards. The Roman Empire was too brutal to love, but I was intrigued. All those aqueducts and lions, I guess.

I learned how to kiss a guy breathless before I learned how to kiss a girl breathless, but I've since decided it doesn't matter the order as long as everybody was breathless. Because really, what's better than a kiss that leaves you without breath?

O=oxygen. H=hydrogen. Au=gold. Ne=neon. Hg=mercury. At least I think they do...what the hell with Hg being mercury?

I also learned how to vomit. Anywhere, anytime. When my teeth started leaving imprints on my knuckles, I started using an unsharpened pencil. When my gag reflex weakened, I bought Ipecac.

Years have passed now, and not everything I learned remains imprinted. The important stuff, though, that lingers.

So if you see me and realize I'm bigger than I used to be, don't say anything.