lime optional
When the day dawns bright, sunny, hot and perfectly breezy, do not...let me repeat that...DO NOT roll out of bed, smile at your husband and say something stupid like -
"Hey, honey, do you think your parents might like to come up and hang out today? We can swim and throw some kind of food on that shiny new grilling machine you bought at the Depot."
Why not, you ask? Because your husband will look at you, smile and say something equally as stupid, like -
"Sure! That's a great idea!"
And then they'll show up, swimsuits in hand, and pretty soon they'll be in the pool, beer bottles in hand...
HEY! No glass in the pool!
...and before you know it you're popping the tops of Corona bottles with your teeth because you've decided to let Uncle Karen keep the bottle opener you saw her stash in the giant bag with the zebra on it. Why she stashed it there you'll never know and you're too intimidated by a woman named UNCLE Karen to ask.
HEY! You have Corona? Do you have a LIME? Or is that part of the option package?
Uh...optional lime? Huh?
When your husband throws food on the shiny new grilling machine, all the males in the clan will gather and ooooh and aaaaah at the behemoth in front of them...
Maybe you don't want to do tha...Look out! BIG FLAME!!
Papa looks better without eyebrows anyway.
When they leave, your house will be littered with beer bottles, banana peels, and what you think is some kind of wax...or maybe it's cheese somebody left in the sun that's melted into the patio furniture. Either way, EW.
Anyway, when they're gone, and you've managed to de-litter the house and scrape the wax (cheese?) from the patio furniture, the only thing you'll have the energy to do is flop on the couch, where you will be subjected to crappy Vin Diesel movies. The sad part? You laugh. At Vin Diesel.
Oy.
"Hey, honey, do you think your parents might like to come up and hang out today? We can swim and throw some kind of food on that shiny new grilling machine you bought at the Depot."
Why not, you ask? Because your husband will look at you, smile and say something equally as stupid, like -
"Sure! That's a great idea!"
And then they'll show up, swimsuits in hand, and pretty soon they'll be in the pool, beer bottles in hand...
HEY! No glass in the pool!
...and before you know it you're popping the tops of Corona bottles with your teeth because you've decided to let Uncle Karen keep the bottle opener you saw her stash in the giant bag with the zebra on it. Why she stashed it there you'll never know and you're too intimidated by a woman named UNCLE Karen to ask.
HEY! You have Corona? Do you have a LIME? Or is that part of the option package?
Uh...optional lime? Huh?
When your husband throws food on the shiny new grilling machine, all the males in the clan will gather and ooooh and aaaaah at the behemoth in front of them...
Maybe you don't want to do tha...Look out! BIG FLAME!!
Papa looks better without eyebrows anyway.
When they leave, your house will be littered with beer bottles, banana peels, and what you think is some kind of wax...or maybe it's cheese somebody left in the sun that's melted into the patio furniture. Either way, EW.
Anyway, when they're gone, and you've managed to de-litter the house and scrape the wax (cheese?) from the patio furniture, the only thing you'll have the energy to do is flop on the couch, where you will be subjected to crappy Vin Diesel movies. The sad part? You laugh. At Vin Diesel.
Oy.
2 Comments:
As long at it's *AT* Vin Diesel I think you're in the clear.
UNCLE Karen.
Oh my.
Got pictures? This I gotta see.
xo
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