you know it's gonna be a long day when...

• you wake up at 2:22 a.m. to the sound of a cat horking up a furball on your bed.
• your husband turns to you at 4:30 a.m. and says, "I think I forgot to turn the oven off."
• your teenager argues with you over curfew before the sun rises.
• your dog starts whining incessantly and when you go to see what's wrong with her you notice she has an upset tummy and your dining room rug is no longer a pretty ivory color.
• your six-year-old can't find any socks and you know she owns a drawer full of socks.
• you reach for the cream and it isn't there.
• you settle for French Vanilla Coffeemate and reach for that and it also isn't there.
• you dump your cup of coffee into the sink and boil water for tea even though you know tea just ain't gonna cut it on a Monday morning.
• you realize you forgot to turn the crockpot on and the Irish oatmeal is grossly undercooked.
• you go into the bathroom to pee and discover the laundry has miraculously given birth to socks and Princess undies and they will not be ignored.
• the phone rings at 7:02 a.m. and it's your mother reminding you that you promised to send her a check to pay for the new puppy's rabies shot.
• you drop a 28-ounce can of ground, peeled tomatos on your foot when reaching for a teabag.
• you manage to stifle the bad word when you hurt your foot but not when you realize you're out of tea bags.
• you slip on a patch of ice and fall down in your driveway while attempting to pick up the newspaper.
• your six-year-old almost misses the school bus because she still hasn't found a pair of socks to her liking even though you've thrown six-dozen pairs in her direction.

I'm going back to bed.