toddlers are hell

So what happens when you're given a list of words for a writing exercise and your brain is fried?

You cheat.

Do I fail creative writing now?? Do I care??

curse – n. a word spoken loudly, usually in frustration, and always repeated by your toddler in the presence of your mother-in-law.

disheartened - adj. the feeling you get when your toddler says “Mommy, my socks went swimming!’ Cross reference, clogged toilet

drink – n. a liquid, usually amber in color, consumed by the disheartened parents of toddlers. See also, drunk

echo – n. a word game in which every word spoken by an individual is repeated verbatim by another individual. Usually played with unbridled enthusiasm by younger siblings.

err - v. what parents of toddlers inevitably do when they assume the television that has gone unwatched for an hour should be turned off. Cross reference, nuclear meltdown

guide – v. to lead, direct, or steer one in the direction you wish them to go. This action is usually taken by older siblings driven to distraction by an enthusiastic round of the game Echo. Ex: Driven to distraction by a rousing game of Echo, Kate decided to guide her sister to the basement.

hotheaded – adj. quick tempered. See also, toddler

injury – n. the bulging lump on your toddler’s head after she spins herself silly enough to walk into a doorknob.

Lavender – adj. the color of the bulging lump on your toddler’s head after she spins herself silly enough to walk into a doorknob.

m.p.h. – abbrev. short for ‘mommy please help’. Toddlers are particularly fond of this phrase after visiting the potty.

Norville the Narwhal –n. a horribly annoying television program your toddler will absolutely fall in love with and insist on watching repeatedly. See also, Blue’s Clues, Teletubbies, Dora the Explorer, and Betsy the Bovine.

sister – n. what an older girl child will wish for when told about the new baby. This wish will be denied the instant it is granted. Cross reference, brother, devil spawn

solder – v. to meld two things together using extreme heat, or, what toddlers do to cats when left alone with matches or a lit candle.

slept – v. a word parents of toddlers have absolutely no use for. Ex: I slept well last night.

tug – v. what a toddler does to her father’s bathing suit as he flips burgers at the block party. Cross reference, naked in public